For Anyone Anywhere: Request for Help…
by Julia Fletcher
November 30, 2010
Another mother is asking for help.
If there were local, state and/or federal investigators handling the crisis in family courts, I’d tell her and the wonderful husband and father from Ohio, and the moms in Hawaii and Florida and California and all the other protective parents asking for help, “No worries. There are plenty of government offices available to protect your precious children in family court cases involving child abuse.”
If I could, I would tell this mother, “Even though there are no government offices to help your child in this situation, at least there are effective laws enforced in every state to help parents protect children from abuse in custody cases.” But that’s not true either.
I can tell her about the court watch programs, Justice for Children, the Protective Mothers Alliance and the Battered Mothers Custody Conference. The Office of Violence Against Women was looking into this situation a few months ago so maybe they can help. It seems as though some people working in our Justice Department want to help and might be looking for the revenue, resources and an effective course of action to take.
I think for now, I have to tell this desperate mother that she’ll need to turn to the non-profit, grass-roots organizations who provide help for children by providing guidance for the mothers who are placed in the position of having to fight the system in order to protect their children. Does anyone else have other suggestions?
I hope I can help by posting her request here. I’ll send it to the Facebook friends and Twitter followers I’ve gathered these last few months. I’ll hope and pray that someone will be the anyone who’s willing and able to help:
“I am a mother that is in desperate need of help and I do not know who to turn to. I have recently gone through a horrifying divorce and have found in the middle of it that my ex-husband sexually abused my sister and my 3 yr old son. Both have told counselors and law enforcement, but it seems as though no one believes any of us. I want only to protect my son, and my sister will never see him again. I do not know how to protect him, except taking him and running. I know that is a last resort and there are severe consequences for this choice. Anyone that can help, please let me know. Thank you to anyone”
I agree – Several of us have discussed just this – where do we go – what do we do – no police, cps will help and if we go against them and flee -we are chased and held in contempt or imprisoned yet the fathers are never in trouble and are protected – what is going on??? So do we have a designated date for all to come together and rebel or refuse to go to the courts before abusive Judges ( since our basic civil rights are being violated and our children are taken away ) and expect the police to try and arrest us – But if united nationwide at the same time – would this be something?? We will be safer in numbers….
I agree with “mothersprotectingyourchildren”. How many moms actually have won custody of their children free and clear from an abuser? 1 in 1000, if that, and using half a million dollars or a miracle whereby the abuser dies in a car crash (true stories). Running is “illegal”, but so is incest- which is the greater law and action? By one action you save a child, the other destroys a child.
Every minute in your life and in a child’s life is invaluable. Once your kids are far from you, you will never ever recover that time you lost with them. That is something that no one will give you back. Seems Americans can not understand that sick people should not be around kids. There are so many countries in the world that do understand that. Unfortunately not all the moms can have access to that kind of justice and that’s pretty sad.
I understand the point of view of “mother protecting their children”
I was about to lose my child. I used all of this: mother love, my child’s love, a pinch of intelligence and a pretty good lawyer who helped me protect my child and myself.
Fortunately my child was always with me. I feel very sad and hurts me very much when I see cases in which a mother is separated from her kids and those kids are sent to live with a sick father that only wants to rape them and hurt them. Civil lessons and reunification is something that will not take the trauma away from victims of rape.
Falling in love, getting married, having children, getting divorced – all a part of life. Raping your children is not part of life and is something good fathers and mothers should not allow to happen.
Mothers protecting their children — though some have done this, it’s also a great way to get yourself thrown in jail with the children back with Dad (or 3rd parties) for custodial interference. Recent API article speak (for fathers, only) about how as we speak, Rep. Chris Smith (NJ) is complaining that Japan & India have not signed the Hague Convention. Any family court judge who reverses custody based on custodial interference then has (it seems) a right to issue a bench warrant for one’s arrest.
Sadly, this didn’t happen in my case, in California. My pricey family law attorney didn’t even bring it up. Instead, we were shunted off to mediation , which rubber-stamped what in another venue (and if police had acted to enforce custody orders for a woman), but a fine and jail time for a mother who did this. Search “California Penal Code 278.5 on my blog.
It seems we cannot do this solo, but must together fight the fiasco that family courts were, from the start, and are, now.
Information: I hope blog author may include a link on the blogroll to my site. After 11 years in this system, I have learned what does, and does not (important to know, for one’s own sanity & integrity) work.
Much information also (in my comments) on Rightsformothers.com, randijames.com, and nafcj.net.
I was a woman beside myself for several years, and researching DV language, and even attending conferences. NONE of this helped my kids, at all because it omittied crucial information about how the systems worked. There are federal grants to states affecting all US family courts, and organizations taking money from those grants SPECIFICALLY to maintain a father’s right to abuse or stalk, harass, beat up, or threaten an ex, or hurt & steal her kids Good Dads have no need to do these things.
This is less about individuals than organizations, and how the U.S. government, while running OVW and other groups addressing problems, is charging taxpayers to keep independent-minded MOms in their societal place AFTER they have moved on, or protested criminal behavior.
It is not optional to ignore this and help mothers. Again, pls. see sites. The cat is out of the bag, but women are led to look in other places for the cause of the problem. Somehow, it’s too hard to accept the reality of financial fraud — one’s worldview changes. But truth counts.
I won’t comment much here, because I can barely read the print; it is so light.
It’s necessary to understand how govt & nonprofits & foundations work to get the scope of the issues. But what a great civics lesson for when those kids are grown, and hopefully Moms can re-connect.
I don’t know if I am going to help with my comments but to be honest, and after doing some research of what’s happening to kids and mothers trying to protect them, it seems to me that the only choice is to grab your kids and run away. If you think your kids would be free of rape and harm if you do, I think it’s worth all the sacrifices that you have to do to stop your child’s suffering. Sorry, but I’m just being honest.